So. (Oh dear. Regardless of the fact that I speak like this, I will not allow myself to start every post this way. Rewind.)
This blogging thing is clearly an unbreakable habit, huh? Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
A while ago, I wanted to write a post titled Emotional comparing my extreme low levels of emotional display to other people's and wondering whether that was because I'm bad at expressing myself or because I simply don't fluctuate as much emotionally. And what that would mean for my future ability to connect properly with people, and the degree to which it is in my biology vs. alterable. So because this has been bugging me and I'm always on my computer, I, of course, didn't write it.
Then, it follows that once I actually started writing, I didn't feel like writing about that. So I decided to pick up another more recent idea that had been floating around my head. I've become slightly fascinated with my flatmates' habit of definitively professing the opposite attitude to how they actually feel, the attitude they wish they had or think would be better for them (I think my CogSci class is getting to me). But once I put them on screen, those phrases I had crafted so carefully whilst brushing my teeth in the morning just seemed fake and rather boring. I think that all I can gather from this failness is that, once I've had an idea, I must put it down within a day probably, or it just won't work.
And there we have it. I'm stuck again with no topic, at least not one that will work right now (Maybe I'll save those and see if they catch my fancy in a few months. But probably not. Blogging strikes me as a very in the moment thing). I've not watched any movies, read any books, eaten any interesting well-prepared (or not) food, and I'm not planning on doing anything particularly noteworthy. And on second thought, what's wrong with that? I agree that reviews of books/tv shows/food are interesting to read, but this blog is not really meant to be themed in any way. And yet I also completely agree that a list of events I've done during the day, that I do pretty much every day, is definitely boring.
So what makes a blog? Must my life be full of diverse activities for which I have not the time or the money? Maybe so. Popular blogs might be so because they detail parts of lives that we wish we could have. Although I've definitely read blogs about events, thoughts, and feelings that are not so enviable.
Then, of course, a notion I've heard before comes back to me - that your blog is what you make it. The question follows, what am I going to make of this blog? What shall I write about? I started with the opinion that I could simply take whatever was at the front of my mind, make it like a journal. The only problem with that is that most of the time, I don't 'know my own mind', I either don't have much of anything on my mind or I don't know how to say it. So I'm proposing something, to... myself; for the next while at least, I will use this blog to figure out what I feel, what I'm thinking, how I'm reacting to certain things. After all, I was going to blog about my difficulty in expressing how I feel, so this seems a very neat way to close.
And then once I finished the post to my semi-satisfaction, I realized that there actually are a few things happening in my life that I am excited for. Most immediately, Veteran's Day is Thursday - no class and postponed homework. And then I'm going to a wedding this weekend, and although I'm not too excited about that, it includes spending a night at my parents' house because the wedding is near there. Yay! And obviously I'm also going home for Thanksgiving in a few weeks, which is also yay-ful. I'm hoping to use some gift cards I have for a bookstore to get Paper Towns and The Hunger Games, two books I've been really wanting for a while now. If/when I buy/read those, I will try to remember to blog about them. More long term, I'm excited for the next series of Doctor Who in the spring, as it's recently been announced that it will be a split series more focused on a long-arc story, with a 'game-changing mid-season finale'. Which, obviously, just increases the awesome, plus, of course, my tension till then. I'm trying not to spoilerize myself too much, but sometimes its hard.
